Oldies, but goodies

Did you mean to sound dirty/sexy in your email to Dan? Because it totally did! I like staying in hotel rooms occasionally = maybe we could end up in one in man-talk. Dirty, dirty girl.

John-Ed seems to have taken the email rejection well. You've gotta love a guy who references your gut in his final email.

"My booty or my eyes"-Bridget-Fonda-smile-stealing Chad closed you for "Other" reasons. I know you're crushed, but try to hold it together.

Father Christmas Scott requested a Fast Track with you. You'd better watch out- it might turn into a stalking situation. Then he'll see you when you're sleeping. He'll know when you're awake. He'll know if you've been bad or good, and you'll catch him in your apartment trying to steal your shoes with your underwear on his head and you'll have to call the cops.

Now, on to the fun part- NEW MATCHES!
Carlos- Obviously in the mob. Looks sort of like a Latino Jordan Knight. Don't make him cuhsh you! (That's "Don't make him cut you" in a Latino mob-guy accent.)

Ramiro- Would be much easier to type about if I could stop laughing. Seriously. You must see this guy to believe it. I wonder if he paid Glamour Shots to take that photo. I just snorted!

Michael- Describes himself as "a reader", but doesn't know any of the names of the authors or titles of the books he has read. He tries to Jedi mind trick you out of noticing the discrepancy there by saying he read books in IRAQ and capitalizing all four letters. For being 44 and a military man, he sure has creepy long hair and a goofy, this-is-my-smoochy-face look in some of his pics.

Greg- Looks pretty squidgy for a guy who 'enjoy(s) working out'.

Eric- If you ever saw the movie Mars Attacks!, Eric will look familiar to you. I feel another snort coming on... nope, laughed myself into a coughing fit, instead. At 48, Eric is into building and flying model airplanes, playing computer games, and M&Ms. He also owns a lovely Bill Cosby sweater. Ok, that time, I did snort. And drooled a little. (This is the most awesome bunch of guys I've ever seen on here.) What a keeper!

Steve- 47-year-old-Steve used the word passion/passionate no less than SEVEN times in his profile. That's a lot of passion for someone who probably needs viagra to ignite it. But if you're into fiveheads (that's when it's too big to be a forehead), this is your guy.

After today's lot of less-than-golden oldies, I'm changing your age settings and dropping the top down. They're obviously going to keep sending you people above and below your range anyway. I really hope you feel better soon. If laughter really is the best medicine, then checking out this latest batch of dudes will cure you instantly. I've been laughing for like the last ten minutes. I love this job!

Emma